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DEVARIM 5763-2003
"The
Gentle Reproof"
Rabbi
Ephraim Buchwald
This week, we begin reading the fifth book of the Torah,
known as Deuteronomy, or D’varim in Hebrew. The book
of D’varim is also called Mishneh Torah, which
is commonly translated as "repetition" or "review"
of the Torah. This name underscores that many of the items
that were recorded in the previous books of the Torah
are repeated in this fifth book. The majority of the book
of D’varim is a record of the exhortations, warnings,
and reproofs that Moses delivers to the people, pleading
with them to keep the Torah and the mitzvot, and informing
them of the specific rewards and punishments that await
them for the observance and non-observance of the mitzvot.
The
book of D’varim often elaborates on quite of the
few of the mitzvot that were already mentioned in the
previous books. So for instance, the Ten Commandments
are repeated once again in parashat Va’etchanan.
However, of the more than 100 laws which are contained
in Deuteronomy, more than 70 are completely new.
The
book of D’varim begins with the words that were spoken
by Moses in the last five weeks of his life, and were
enunciated as a last will and testament to his beloved
people to teach and to reprove them. Deuteronomy 1:1 &
2 read: "Ayleh Had’varim," These
are the words that Moses spoke to all Israel. According
to tradition, he calls all the people, so that
they would all be present and have the opportunity to
respond to the words of reproof.
Before
mentioning the actual words however, the Torah uncharacteristically
lists a relatively long list of locations where Moses
spoke to the people. Moses proceeds to remind the people
that he spoke with them: "...on the other side of
the Jordan, by the wilderness, the Arava, opposite the
sea of Reeds, between Paran and Tophel, and Lavan and
Chatzerot, and Dee’zahav. It is eleven days journey
from Horeb, by way of Mt. Se’ir to Kadesh-Barnea."
Why this long list of locations? Our commentators suggest
that Moses was concerned that the people would be influenced
by the local idolatry and sin when they entered the land
of Canaan. Consequently, Moses began his words by reminding
the people of the long string of sins and rebellions that
marked their 40 years of travel in the wilderness. After
all, if they and their parents could sin in the wilderness
when they were constantly surrounded by miracles, surely
great dangers would await them in the new land, where
there were no constant reminders of G-d’s presence.
Nevertheless, Moses does not actually mention the sins.
Instead he alludes to them indirectly by naming
the places where the sins were committed.
Reb
Yosef Chaim of Baghdad, provides a lovely parable to elucidate
this method of reproof. Based on the Midrash Tanchuma,
he tells of a King who had a magnificent orchard, with
beautiful ripe fruit. The King placed a guard dog in the
orchard to protect the fruit from thieves. Once, while
looking out the window, he saw one of his trusted officers
entering the orchard to eat the fruits without permission.
The guard dog attacked the officer and ripped his garments.
The King said in his heart, "If I say to my beloved
officer that I saw him, he’ll be embarrassed, and
I don’t want to embarrass him. But if I remain silent,
then he will think that I did not see him, and he’ll
repeat this dastardly act." When the officer entered
the King’s palace, the King casually remarked
how terrible it was that the wild dog ripped the officer’s
clothes. The officer clearly understood that the King
saw him steal the fruits.
Similarly,
Moses did not want to embarrass the people of Israel,
so he did not explicitly mention their sins, but rather
mentioned the place and location of their sins. The people
took the hint and understood.
Rabbi
Yisrael of Rhizin (one of the foremost Chassidic leaders
in Poland, 1797-1851), stated that a great leader, when
he wants to give words of Torah and mussar (reproof)
to his people, has to "dress" the message in
stories, parables, and legends--things that speak to the
heart, so that they can penetrate the heart and enter
the soul.
A
friend of mine recently sent me a copy of a piece that
he wrote which reflects on the broader issue of education,
as seen from the Torah perspective and concerns the issue
of giving proper reproof. It’s entitled "In
the Aftermath of Littleton," and is a reflection
on the tragic shooting by two Columbine High School students
that resulted in the deaths of 12 students and one teacher
in that Denver area High School on April 20, 1999.
In
the aftermath of Littleton, we have tried a little of
this and a little of that. Most of the noise was about
gun control, and it failed. Then Congress passed a law
allowing (not requiring, but allowing) schools
to post the Ten Commandments.
I'm
a big fan of the Ten Commandments, but ignoring the constitutional
issues, does anyone really think that putting a poster
on a wall is going to create moral children? It can't
hurt. But putting the Ten Commandments on the wall is
typical of our "quick-fix" approach to the emptiness
of our popular culture. It is akin to thinking that a
few seminars on tolerance will eliminate hate or anger.
Being good takes work!
At the heart of morality is the sacrifice of self-interest
to a higher code. It means returning the wallet you find
on the street. It means listening to someone else's problems
when you want to talk about your own. And, it means subduing
your anger even when you are in the right.
None of the above is easy. Walking by a poster ten times
a day isn't going to create a child with values. If you
want to see why, think about the minimum level of morality,
that of civility -- saying "Please" and "Thank
you." Saying "Please" and "Thank you"
is the minimum level, because you only have to say
it, not feel it. But even that minimum level takes an
immense amount of work. You have to tell a child over
and over to say "Please" and "Thank you"
before it becomes second nature. Think of how much work
it takes to get a child to share or think of others.
Being good takes work. And Judaism may have something
to tell us about how to create moral children.
Moral fitness is akin to physical fitness. No one would
argue that if our kids are overweight or out of shape
that we can solve the problem by putting up a poster that
tells them that "Fit is better than fat." We
understand that if you want to be good at sports or music
you must practice dull, repetitive tasks such as free-throw
shooting for hour after hour.
If we want our children to be good, we must work at it.
To make goodness a habit, to make children or adults think
of others along with themselves, takes hours of training.
Here
are some ways to make it happen.
Set aside a container for charity and make a habit out
of giving something everyday, even if it is only spare
change. Do it in a set way, say every morning before breakfast,
so that it becomes a habit.
Express gratitude. Thank God for the food you eat. Thank
the person at the table who cooked and served the meal.
And recognize your children's good behavior, not just
the bad.
Spend time with your children. This is the hardest part.
We want virtuous children, who learn virtue –- without
our help. It's impossible. Quantity time is quality time.
Jews have the Sabbath. On the Sabbath, the telephone "drops
dead," the television ceases, parents hug their children
and bless them, eat three mandated meals together, and
sing, and talk of the Bible. If you don't have the Sabbath,
take a taste of it into your life. Turn off the TV and
telephone at least one night a week. Dedicate a night
to the family, and make it a rule that everyone stays
home that night. Talk to one another. It works wonders.
Finally, be a role model. One kind deed, one act of tolerance
or of consideration does more to teach children about
morality than 100 lectures, or 200 trips past a poster
of the Ten Commandments.
There is an old Jewish story about two fathers in synagogue.
One talks during the service, but lectures his child about
the importance of prayer. The other father says nothing
to the child, but devotes his being to prayer every week.
The second child grows up dedicated to prayer. The first
grows up talking during services, but lectures his child
about the importance of prayer.
Be a role model. Do. It is your best bet if you want your
children to follow.
